Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you got it all planned and figured out and you so pumped up knowing you are in the right place at the right time with the right people and all of a sudden it hit you, you are not?
I’ve been talking with some people with the same fate as I am in at the moment. It’s terrifying. These are my mates back at college and now on the same workplace, they ain’t happy with everything that is going on.
What seem fine to me, to them it’s not tolerable. I listened to their hinaing in life then there’s me, affected na affected si ate gurl nyo.
“This is not a pharmacist should be and should be doing.”
“In other hospitals, the pharmacist’s life is the finest! Unlike here….”
“The rate is so much higher in this, in that blah blah keme…”
These are only some of the rants that affected me and made me think of going to another career path with promising offers. As a breadwinner, this really bothered me to the point that I asked people what it’s like in that field and assessed myself if I’m up for that. I have to make a decision for me to help a bit more in terms of finances. As a professional, pride comes in saying “You made it all the way out college and boards for what?? For this???? You think this is what you deserve for all the endless tears, prayers, late nights and long days????” This one has a point also. Plus, “This is not what you wasted half of your life with. Pharmacology and all the Chemistry there is, this is what you should enhance because you are a pharmacist.”
What if I pursue a different career path?
Would it be better?
Will I be satisfied?
Will life be much easier?
Here comes the ‘what ifs’ of life again. I imagined myself to the different fields I can make use of my license. I related to some tweets online wondering if they were signs.I was too affected knowing that I am one decision away from everything that is not this.
I decided to pray about it and the Lord never fails me. He brought me to the original plan I had back at college and everything that seems a blur became clear somehow. This brought me peace. I saw that I was impatient and He was not pleased about it. It seems like I don’t trust Him and began to figure things out by myself doubting His work in my life. As I listened to my mates’ dilemmas, I began to own it.
I remembered how I cautiously I plan everything after college. I remembered the reason why the Lord put me on this workplace, because it is what I prayed for and yet I wanted things to be on a fast-pace. With my parents sermons as well, this made me see that the work environment, the nature of work has a significant role for as these factors molds me to the future ‘me’ practicing my profession.
But I’m stubborn, I can’t stay at ease. I’ve read hundreds of job offers, searched hundreds of possibilities and end up frustrated. Fear of the unknown, fear of me boxed in my comfort zone and fear of what I may missed in this God-given lifetime is what eats me up most. Seeing elderly people and wondering what they’ve done, would’ve done and are they satisfied with the life they lived? Oh life!
As I go through The Book of Proverbs, the Lord assured me of something; knowledge. He is pleased with anyone who seeks knowledge. I read the things that will be given to you in pursuit of knowledge and its more promising than any job offer. And I’m set, this is what I should waste my life with.
35 For whoever finds me (knowledge) finds life,
And obtains favor from the Lord;